Weird.

I loled when my best friend told me that my ex is going back out with his old ex. It made me happy cause at least he will be outta my ass. :]. Anyways I'm so pissed off at my cousin, Kevin, that it's not even funny. I wanted to go see New Moon so he promised me he would take me, well he went with someone else last weekend and then went bowling this weekend. So fuck him. :]. I wished I had money. I would go then but all of my friends have seen it and Dee wouldn't wanna go with me cause she is sick of Twilight etc etc. I think today is gonna be a shit day. I'm sick of stupid shit going on, my mom is throwing a fit and idk why. I'm so so so sick of life atm. I just said I'm gonna kill myself and no one said anything. I love the way my family loves me. I have nothing to look forward to atm. I'm hella sad and hella depressed and hella pissed and I hate stupid shit!!!!!!!! :\.

dead.

Meh. I feel like complete shit. Nothing in my life ever goes right. Something someone said to me made me realize some things. Some things that I can't let happen. My mom and I are fighting alot, I feel completely alone, still.. :\. Idk what else to say.

Ki Ga Omoi..

See.. I've been tumbling down a hill.. Straight down.. to the pits.. Does he love me still? I'm not sure of my thoughts on life at the moment.. I'm so caught up in the past that the present and possible future is clouding my judgement because I have no room for me.. I feel completely alone.. I do.. I'm not sure what is wrong with me.. I'm just so depressed that I don't know what to do.. "Just hold my hand to show some concern if I.. Live or.. Die.." Fuck.. I've been this way for about the past three weeks.. I try to hide it.. It's just got to the point where I want to explode and cry.. I don't want to feel like this anymore.. I think I need to get help.. :x.. Maybe go see someone and get some depression meds or something.. I don't know.. I'm shaking at the moment.. Sad music.. My heart is broken.. I'm not sure what to do anymore.. I havent been eating much.. I feel so hungry but I know that since I am depressed that if I eat more than a little then I will use it as my crutch.. I feel so alone.. I hate being alone.. I really need to go do my homework.. But mama just turned the light out on me.. So I guess that's work for tomorrow.. I'm gonna curl up in bed and cry.. Good night everyone.

~ToO cOoL fOr ScHoOl~

Helloo! Lol, I'm bored.. I guess I have had a good week or so.. I had the flu.. I'm a senior this year.. I was supposed to graduate last year.. I'm stressing over this stupid ass AR.. I didn't know it was cut off tomorrow.. I have like 14 chapters left in my book.. I need to finish it before tomorrow, 4th hour.. Not good.. I'm off to go read.. <3

~MeMoRy~CaTs~AnDrEw LlOyD wEbBeR~ElAiNe PaIgE~

Daylight

See the dew on the sunflower

And a rose that is fading

Roses whither away

Like the sunflower

I yearn to turn my face to the dawn

I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight

Not a sound from the pavement

Has the moon lost her memory?

She is smiling alone

In the lamplight

The withered leaves collect at my feet

And the wind begins to moan

Memory

All alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days

I was beautiful then

I remember the time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp

Seems to beat a fatalistic warning

Someone mutters

And the streetlamp gutters

And soon it will be morning

Daylight

I must wait for the sunrise

I must think of a new life

And I musn't give in

When the dawn comes

Tonight will be a memory too

And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days

The stale cold smell of morning

The streetlamp dies, another night is over

Another day is dawning

Touch me

It's so easy to leave me

All alone with the memory

Of my days in the sun

If you touch me

You'll understand what happiness is

Look

A new day has begun

I wanna have sex with a rainbow in a bag of skittles..

Well.. I was thinking.. That I wanna have sex with a rainbow in a bag of skittles.. Then I would cum out a tasty, sweet rainbow..

Or maybe thats the shrooms talking.

Jk. I don't do shrooms.

<3

!~MeGa~DePrEsSiOn~!

I don't know what is wrong lately.. I've been so depressed.. I'm not sure.. I have an idea of what I'm upset about.. But I can't think about it.. God.. Where did I go wrong in my life so far? It all happened the day I was born, I bet. I've made bad decisions.. Here lately.. I think.. Why does it feel like almost everyone hates me..? I'm sure that the reason I'm so depressed is cause I had to make a hard choice.. I understand that a lot of people hates my ex.. He isn't as bad as I made him out to be.. I will give him that much.. But he broke me time and time again.. I'm nuts <3.. Everyone is gonna look at this and tell me im completely stupid. Yes, I love my boyfriend at this moment.. Yes I told my ex that I won't go back to him.. He's the one waiting.. I'm not sure, but some stuff he said got to me, made me think of the past.. Life is ok at the moment.. I'm just being a depressed idiot.