See.. I've been tumbling down a hill.. Straight down.. to the pits.. Does he love me still? I'm not sure of my thoughts on life at the moment.. I'm so caught up in the past that the present and possible future is clouding my judgement because I have no room for me.. I feel completely alone.. I do.. I'm not sure what is wrong with me.. I'm just so depressed that I don't know what to do.. "Just hold my hand to show some concern if I.. Live or.. Die.." Fuck.. I've been this way for about the past three weeks.. I try to hide it.. It's just got to the point where I want to explode and cry.. I don't want to feel like this anymore.. I think I need to get help.. :x.. Maybe go see someone and get some depression meds or something.. I don't know.. I'm shaking at the moment.. Sad music.. My heart is broken.. I'm not sure what to do anymore.. I havent been eating much.. I feel so hungry but I know that since I am depressed that if I eat more than a little then I will use it as my crutch.. I feel so alone.. I hate being alone.. I really need to go do my homework.. But mama just turned the light out on me.. So I guess that's work for tomorrow.. I'm gonna curl up in bed and cry.. Good night everyone.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
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